Business panrom, Ambaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaani aagarom… B-)

A group of my friends decided that what they needed was a scheme to multiply their money and hence came up with this new venture of theirs – channel partnership with a leading telecom brand! The rest of us tried to chip in as much help and support as we could manage. We all got together and after many boo-bahs and yawns and coffees, zeroed down on the immediate requirements.

Almost everything had arrived except the furniture which was way past the promised delivery date. Each of us enthusiastically took turns in abusing the company’s salesman (it was a job so well done that he switched his phone off for 2 days at a stretch).

All too soon, the concerned papers were signed, the new office inaugurated, and it was time to start recruiting! The requirement was formally advertised on paper (a small ad in the classifieds column) and placement consultants were notified. We chose to conduct the job interviews at the office of the brand we signed with due to it being centrally located (actually so that we look imposing to the appearing candidates).

And hence, the saga started…

THE NAMES OF CANDIDATES HAVE BEEN ALTERED 

SALES INTERVIEWS – DAY 1

Candidate (1): (Opens door and peeps in)

Interviewer: Yes. Come in. Please sit down. What is your name?

Candidate (1): (Looks at his knees and gives a ‘shy’ smile) Raghav Sir.

Interviewer: (Mind-voice) Name ke first night range ku feel panrane, ivan lam naaliki customer kitta poi enna pesa poraano… 😦  (To answer a kindly put forward question with his name he is all squirmy as if it’s his first night, god knows what he is gonna say to his customers)

OK. Tell me about yourself.

Candidate (1): (Another shy smile) Sir I am Salem Sir. Sir I am MBA Sir. Sir I am sales Sir.

Interviewer: Okay Raghav. We are in the process of short-listing candidates. Give me a call after a couple of days. (Fat chance)

Candidate (2): (Opens door and peeps in) Sir?

Interviewer: Yes. Come in. Please sit down. What is your name?

Candidate (2): I am Ajay Sir.

Interviewer: Well Ajay, your resume says that you are an experienced candidate. Tell me about your previous job experience.

Candidate (2): I am from Madurai. I studied in ******** College. I worked as admin in old company. I earned Rs. 13000 per month.

Interviewer: How did you come to know about this interview?

Candidate (2): I am seeing in Hindu Sir.

Interviewer: Oh great. But I don’t remember us advertising on The Hindu…

Candidate (2): (Blinks like an Owl)

Interviewer: Listen Ajay, if you were an admin earlier, why did you decide to come to a sales interview?

Candidate (2): (Blinks like an Owl)

Interviewer: Did you even know that this was a sales interview?

Candidate (2): (Blinks like an Owl & shakes his head)

Interviewer: Good day to you Ajay. All the best.(Bangs his head on the desk as soon as Ajay leaves)

Candidate (3): (Walks in wearing a short, tight half sleeve shirt with flowery patterns all over it and a tight fit pant with a huge bell-shaped bottom with bathroom slippers)

Interviewer:  (God save me!)

Good afternoon. Is this how you dress for an interview?

Candidate (3): Dress oorula irukku Sir. (Dress is in the city/town where I came from)

The res of the conversation happened in Tamil which I shall describe in English for the benefit of everybody

Interviewer: Where are you from?

Candidate (3): Thvnmlai

Interviewer: Huh?

Candidate (3): Thiruvannamalai.

Interviewer: Listen buddy, why do you speak so fast!? Lets take it slowly, shall we… Tell me more about yourself.

Candidate (3): (Speaks in English for the first time. Delivers the following, apparently well-rehearsed lines) I am Aegan. I am plus 2. I am want Rs. 20,000 Salary.

Interviewer: (Zoooooggggg… Out Cold! :-S)

Many more days to go...