Heavy rains all night through made it impossible for me to sleep. An early morning power cut (for no apparent reason) left me with no choice but to give up my desperate attempts at slumber. I woke up and blundered my way through the chores (no light), somehow managed to get my clothes on and carry myself downstairs. One brave strike at my bike’s starter and it fell out of the system. I saw the fates conspire against me and I knew that today was going to be no good. Even so, I carried myself resolutely towards the interview cabin…
SALES INTERVIEWS – DAY 2
Interviewer:(Mind-voice) Wow! A smart knock. So we finally have a candidate who knows how to carry himself…
(Danda nakara dan knock knock, danda nakara dan knock knock….)
Interviewer: (Opens door and finds a guy in sweatpants leaning against his back drumming on the cabin wall) Yes, may I help you?
Candidate (4): Intarview Saaar.
Interviewer: (Sigh) Okay . Come on in. What is your name?
Candidate (4): Sedhees Saar.
Interviewer: Okay Satish, Tell me about yourself.
Candidate (4): Porandhadhu, padichadhu ellam Thiruvannamala Saar. (Born and brought up in Thiruvannamalai)
Interviewer: That’s all? Do tell me more. What did you study? What do you do?
Candidate (4): (Looks as though he was just addressed in Swahili)
Interviewer:Enna lam panna pudikkum Satish ungaluku? (What do you normally do?)
Candidate (4): Vijay na romba pudikkum Saar.
Interviewer: (Amen!) Educational qualification 11th Std. nu potirke, evlo vayasu aagudhu ungalukku? (It says here that you’ve studied up to 11th Std, how old are you?)
Candidate (4): (Looks shifty) 19 Saar.
Interviewer: Huh? But it says here on your CV that you were born in 1989!?
Candidate (4): (Blinks like an Owl – Thiruttu muzhi) Saar enga amma sonnaanga enakku 19 vayasu dhaan aachu nu… (My mother told me that I was only 19 years old)
Interviewer: 2011 – 1989 evlo pa?
Candidate (4): (Blinks like an Owl again)
Interviewer: Thank you Satish. You may go now.
Candidate (4):Saar, enna velaiya irundhaalum supera seiven Saar. (Any job I’ll do really well)
Interviewer: Okay boss. We’ll get in touch with you once we are through with the shortlisting.
(Mind-voice) 😥 😥 😥
Candidate (5): (Knocks) May I come in? (Neatly dressed, complete with tie)
Interviewer: (I see it, but I don’t dare believe it yet) Please be seated. (Mind-voice) Not bad, an MBA fresher!
Tell me about yourself.
Candidate (5): My name is Saravanan. I am from Trichy. Did my schooling and B.Tech there and moved over to Chennai to pursue my MBA.
Interviewer: Why sales?
Candidate (5): Because through sales I can get corporate experience and then move onto Marketing.
Interviewer: What is the kind of salary that you have in mind?
Candidate (5): Around 9 grand per month.
Interviewer: (Perfect!) You do understand that Sales involves a lot of rejection right? What would you do if a customer slams his door on your face?
Candidate (5): I wouldn’t let him do that Sir.
Interviewer: (nearly in tears) Welcome to &%^#$* Connections. You are to report here at 9 AM tomorrow for your training. After that you’ll be working out of an office in Tambaram. (Sniff)
Candidate (5): Hummmmm… Is this some sort of franchise channel? Am I not going to be on-role directly with the brand itself?
Interviewer: Yes. There are no on-role sales openings. Everything here is done through a franchise set-up. But your stationary (visiting cards, etc) would of course be branded. (Fingers crossed and praying to God Almighty he doesn’t run away)
Candidate (5): Hmmm. I’ll get in touch with you sometime tomorrow.
Interviewer: (Mind-voice) Isn’t that the interviewer’s line!? :-S
(Literally in tears now)
To be continued...